Seil Chat

POSSIBLE EVOLUTION OF THE WASHING MACHINE
PART 1

When they first made their appearance on the domestic scene, to replace boilers, washboards, and mangles, washing machines were simple gadgets, with an on/off switch, and possibly a light to indicate the current state. Since then, they have become more sophisticated, no doubt produce better results, but at the expense of a complexity of dials, buttons, and lights, which would not look out of place in the cockpit of a jumbo jet, and a manual of instructions to rival the Encyclopaedia Brittanica.
With the further advances in technology now available, and the competitive desire of the manufacturers to make life easier for the purchasers of their products, it is very likely that in the not too distant future we will see the introduction of the first interactive washing machine. This will have an on/off button, a yes/no button, and a small screen, which can visibly be read without wearing glasses.
The operation, on switching on, will go something like this -
Do you wish to wash clothes? Yes/No
In most cases this is a simple Yes, but if you are wanting to wash a muddy pair of rugby boots, a batch of manky golf balls, or a keyboard that someone has spilt coffee on, you will probably be inclined to press the NO button. In which case the following message will appear -
Washing other articles may damage the articles themselves, and may also damage the machine—do you wish to proceed? Yes/No
Having digested this dire warning, if you take cold feet and signal NO, the machine will switch itself off, and you will be faced with doing the job manually.
Indicating YES , and you are on your own with any consequences.
Going back to the beginning, and switching on again with only clothes in mind, and indicating YES to this option, your next prompt will be- Do you want a quick wash? Yes/No
We are now in to the different programme cycles, and a quick flip through the NO response will take you through the various options until you come to the appropriate one, and all you need to do then is to indicate YES.
The options have descriptive terms, which save you having to memorise what B or No.5 cycle represents. In order after QUICK, they will be something like ORDINARY, SOILED, MUCKY, and LAST RESORT.

But this is but a small step along the evolutionary process, and these models will soon be superseded by the truly interactive model—See part 2.

What about the lonely dishwasher, does it get a shout in???

I haven't finished with the Washing Machine
EVOLUTION OF THE WASHING MACHINE Part 2
The next positive development in the evolutionary process will probably be the speech interactive washing machine. Although the machine itself will probably not talk with the dulcet tones of a husky seductive siren, it will be recognisable and pleasant to the ear. But the big plus is, that it will recognise your voice, regardless of mood, or phraseology and will impeccably follow your instructions.
The dialogue will probably go something like this -
On entering the room containing the washing machine -
WASHING MACHINE - Good morning (or evening, or whatever—it’s intelligent enough to know the time of day), do you wish to make use of my services?
YOU— No thanks, I just want to get some stuff out the fridge.
In this case the WM will return to it’s somnolent mode until your next invasion of it’s privacy.
YOU—Not right now—I’m looking for my glasses.
As above.
YOU—Yes, I’ve got this pair of disgustingly muddy pair of rugby boots to clean up for that lazy son of mine.
WM—I am not really built for this kind of activity—it’s a bit risky for both me and your son’s boots. I strongly suggest that you get your lazy son to clean his own boots.
If you disregard this piece of well meaning advice and proceed with the activity, you run the risk of invalidating the guarantee, and maybe having to buy a new pair of boots.
YOU—Thanks, I’ll follow your advice. But I have a load of clothes in the offing, that need your attention.
WM—Load away.
YOU—(After filling the machine and closing the door)- Right—that’s the lot—ready to go.
WM—You’ve forgotten to include the Fabric Conditioner.
YOU—I didn’t forget—the sachets are finished, and I can’t find the new lot I bought last week.
WM—A likely tale—do you wish me to proceed without conditioner?
YOU—Yes please. My family will never notice the difference.
WM—OK. Usual quick economic wash with green light at the end?
YOU—Fine thanks—off you go.
If you are not happy with the QUICK ECONOMIC wash you can ask the machine to try something different, and it will suggest various options -
YOU—There’s a pair of jeans in there that my daughter spilt a glass of red wine on—what do you recommend?
WM– ORDINARY might do the job, but to be on the safe side, I would suggest SOILED.
YOU—Let’s try Soiled then.
Or -
YOU—My son, while out playing with friends, fell into a sheep dip, and he returned with all his clothes dripping with the most obnoxious pong. He has had a bath, and seems none the worse of the experience, but what about this pile of clothes?
WM—Yes they do pong a bit—I think a session of LAST RESORT might do the trick.
YOU—That sounds sensible to me—let’s go with it.
WM—In this case, I think a double dose of detergent might be in order.
YOU—No sooner said than done—thanks.
Your washing machine also has a very efficient memory which can show itself in lots of useful ways -
WM— Among the stuff you have just loaded, there is a white tablecloth, and a highly coloured cheap looking red and blue football scarf. You remember what happened the last time you mixed whites and coloureds?.
YOU– It’s OK—I checked the labels, and they all say colour fast.
WM—It’s on your head then.
Another useful function, which has not been available on previous models, is a self-diagnostic ability, which forewarns of possible defects. Being the well- mannered machine that it is, it does not spring dire warnings on you at the start of proceedings, but only when you open the access door at the end of the cycle.
WM—I think you should be aware that my drive belt is getting very worn and may pack up altogether very soon. If you wish to make sure that the repairman has the correct belt when he comes to fix things, the reference number is WMB 37146.
YOU— Hold on a minute until I get a pen, and paper ……………. Now, what was that number again?
WM—WMB 37146
YOU—Thanks—I think I will get it seen to right away—don’t want it breaking half way through a cycle.
However, it would be a mistake to think that this dexterity of language went beyond the immediate confines, and applications of the washing machine.
Discussion and resolution of such weighty matters as to who’s turn it is to wash the car, whether Bob needs his hair cut, and whether it is going to rain, are best dealt with by family members, or impartial outsiders.

Someone out there suggested that the dishwasher might be due an upgrade. I have given this some serious thought (with a few lighthearted interludes), and have been almost bereft of ideas.
The dishwasher is a mixed blessing - It takes about as long to load and unload, as it does to do the whole caboodle by hand. Added to this, I have encountered some fastidious people in my time who even go the length of rinsing everything before consigning to the dishwasher. This is like keeping a dog and barking yourself, if you will pardon the expression.
Admittedly, the use of a dishwasher does save you the trouble of getting your hands wet, and trying to enlist someone to do the drying.
As for improvements to the general design - I put this suggestion forward with no thought that it will be ever be acted upon.
You may be aware that the banks have an ingenious gadget which sorts out coins into their individual nominations. You just feed your mixed bag in at the top and it gets sorted for you.
As one of the less enjoyable experiences on the domeastic front, is loading the dishwasher, it would be a very pleasant experience to feed the beast through a slot on top, with the contents you wished it to deal with, and let the innards sort them out into their appropriate places. As a further refinement, it could probably be induced to spit back out, any article for which it could not find accommodation.

Perhaps we're experiencing the golden age of all our technologies, soon to be times that we wish could have again - what with talk of going back to living how we did during WWII...Maybe we'll have to bin our beauties and wash our dirty rugger boots in the local burn…Will the next 10 or so years witness the resurrection of the reaper???

So, "someone" has suggested that the golden age of technology is over, and it is all downhill from now on. I think not. Here is a brief resume of developments in one particular field - travel, which shows how fast the pace of change is.

From time immemorial, well at least from the appearance of Hominus Erectus, which was certainly a long time ago, man has had an urge to travel.
And given that he was supplied with a couple of legs with a foot appended to each, he was well equipped for lateral travel, albeit at a fairly leisurely pace.
Now it must not be denied that there are those athletes among us who can do a 100 metre sprint in the time it takes most of us to get from the bedroom to the bathroom, which is a pretty impressive speed. But this is not sustainable over a larger distance, which is evidenced by the pace of a marathon, which seems to tax its participants to the limit,
So, man, off his own bat, does not have a lot going for him when he decides to do a bit of distance travelling. Therefore, at some stage in his evolution, he decided to co-opt some members of the animal kingdom to supply a quicker and less exhausting means of transport. There were certainly some very quick movers around (like the leopard) but they tended to be on the small side, and not entirely domesticated,. At the other end of the scale were large beasts like the Elephant, which were docile but not even as speedy as their masters.
How it was that the horse (and the camel in desert climes) came to be the vehicle “par excellence” for travellers, was probably arrived at through trial and error, over a long time. Horses, as we know them today, are not bred for long distance endurance – either for a quick gallop round a racetrack or for eventing over jumps in a fairly confined area.
But previously, from time immemorial, as already mentioned, the horse, and it´s inherent speed was the governing factor on the speed which journeys could be undertaken, over any considerable distance. And this was the accepted norm which everyone happily lived by until very recently.
But suddenly (on the cosmic time scale) everything changed. Enter centre left – James Watt and Robert Stevenson. James Watt evidently had this vision of the power of steam by observing a kettle boiling. This rather negates the argument that a watched kettle never boils. However from these small beginnings he developed a working steam engine. Robert Stevenson took up the cudgel and produced a contraption called “The Rocket”, which was a steam engine on wheels which ran along a short track somewhere. near Liverpool. From these small beginnings the age of steam was born. A vast network of railway lines were laid across the planet and people could get from A to B very much faster, more reliably, and without the services of poor old dobbin.
This revolution in transport also completely changed maritime communications. No longer were ships reliant on the vagaries of the wind for propulsion – a steamship could operate to a timetable independent of weather conditions, so they tended to grow in size and refinement, to cater for the increased demand for passenger transport.
No sooner had all this explosion of relatively fast and reliable transport been assimilated into the domain of the general public, than along comes Rudolf Diesel and perfects an internal combustion engine, which does not require the production of steam for it´s power – always a factor for small units with their reliance on water, coal , and a stoker to keep the furnace output working continuously. Thus was the motor car and bus, born.
Not everyone lived in close proximity to a railway station, nor was their final destination close to one, so the car (for those who could afford it) and the bus became useful ancilliaries in integrating the transport system. As roads improved, short journeys became less dependent on rail use, and the rail network started to shrink, while roads became more prolific. Rail still held sway for longer inter-city journeys.
At this stage in the game, everyone had several reliable means of transport at their disposal for getting from A to B and this was at a conservative estimate over 20 times faster than previously with the aforementioned dobbin, as a means of locomotion.
However, while all this frenetic activity was taking place with the development of overland transport, two brothers, Wilbur and Orville Wright were beavering away in the USA with the idea of constructing a craft which could fly above the ground. They did manage to achieve this feat, and although it was not built for passenger transport, and did not stay airborne for very long, it did pave the way to the aviation industry as we know it today.
Mass transit by plane was very slow in developing, due largely to cost and lack of facilities, but improved living standards, the invention of the jet engine, and increased leisure time, got the ball rolling with increased momentum. Two factors contributed to this expansion – there was no infrastructure needed between the departure airport and the arrival one – no roads or rail to construct or maintain, and the speed of travel, especially over long distances, has decimated the opposition.
And now, hot on the heels, of aviation, by courtesy of Werner von Braun and others, comes the advent of Space Travel, due to advances in rocket propulsion. Although admittedly not the preserve of the general travelling public –Yet., The speeds attained by spacecraft with astronauts aboard have outperformed even Jules Verne´s “Around the World in Eighty Days” , by doing it in something of the order of 90 minutes.
So, here we are presently, not at the crossroads, but on a steep exponential curve of travelling speeds. Where to , next ? The current physical laws put the ultimate speed as that of light – 186.000 miles per second, so clearly there is a large potential there, still to be tapped
Up to this point we have been dealing with physical travel, but it could be that the considerable advances also being made with Imax, virtual reality, and home cinema, that it will be possible to visit far flung destinations, in all except bodily presence, without leaving home.
Another possibility, although somewhat more remote, is a “Beam me up Scotty” device which could transfer a physical presence from one site to another – instantaneously. Whatever the future holds, advances will be made, and man will always have the urge to travel, as quickly as possible.

Excellent posts, jimcee. Enjoyable, thought-provoking and optimistic. Thank you.

Thank you Peter C (whoever you are) - it's always nice to get a bit of positive response to one's efforts. After posting my last piece, which was compiled a while back, and sitting in "my Docs", I thought that it only painted part of the picture, and I was anticipating that I might get a bit of negative feedback, so composed the following to produce a counter punch -

Hot on the heels of that treatise on Travel, here is further proof of the exponential upward curve of technological progress which shows no sign of abating.
I would like to take as a start of this explosion in innovation, the year 1800
Previous to this there had been a few significant advances—gunpowder, and the printing press spring to mind, and near the watershed—the Industrial Revolution but not much improvement generally since the stone age.
Then along comes in short order, steam engines, gas, and electricity, the penny post, and the telephone. And towards the end of the 1800’s the internal combustion engine
But now let us cast our minds over what has happened since Queen Victoria left the scene (not that I blame her for any shortfall in progress—despite her apparent lack of a sense of humour).
Travel (already dealt with) from horse to Mars missions and beyond.
Communications—firstly, radio, followed shortly by television which has replaced word of mouth and the town cryer and newspapers (to a certain extent), From letters and telegrams to email .which goes instantly from one side of the globe to the other, without a postman in sight From phone calls which had to be connected through an operator to mobile phones which will operate almost anywhere (although not in my back yard), and will also take photographs and play music, and check your email, and probably other uses of which I am unaware. Satnav which will guide you from A to B without consulting a map, or asking for directions
Technology. The transistor stands out as probably the most significant advance in making improvements in all the other innovations, and was the precursor of the microchip which spawned the birth of the almost universal personal computer. In photography from the Box Brownie to the 12 megapixel digital camera.
In personal recording from reel to reel tape to DVD
In commerce from the Cutty Sark to the Supertanker, from the horse and cart to the juggernaut, from the navvy with a pick and shovel, to the JCB and forklift. From the family grocer where you had wait to be served and had limited stock to choose from, to the hypermarket.
These are just some of the changes that have taken place in the last 2 centuries, and I would venture to predict that further innovations will take place at an accelerating rate, what's all this Wi-Fi and bluetooth caper about?
Whether these advances make us any happier, or any more civilised is another kettle of fish.