Seil Chat

....and there's another tourist. You've sat behind him mile after mile, chuntering to yourself as he fails to notice you in his mirror. You weave from side to side behind him to create a bit of movement in his periphery vision, but as you look through his car into his rearview mirror you can only see part of his forehead or the side of his face, or his hat......but never the eyes, that would mean he would see you! You get peed off as you pass passing place after passing place. You think of flashing, or tooting the horn, but no, control yourself: we don't know what road rage is up here. You try telepathy. You try boring a hole through the back of his head with your super-concentrated 'I am behind you' power beam. You try persuading yourself it doesn't matter if you miss the ferry. You try humming to calm yourself. But all of a sudden, miraculously, joy of joys, just when you've given up, you see his left indicator flash and he starts to pull into the next lay-by.

The world's not so bad after all, God has heard your prayer and asked one of his angels to show the tourist the way. Your foot stamps on the accelerator and you yank the wheel to the right, to pull out and pass the tourist. But f--% me, you can now see there's an oncoming car: that's why the tourist pulled in. You've dived in to the lay-by behind the tourist. Surely he's seen you now. Never mind, you'll jump him! The oncoming car passes, the tourist even waves, but amazingly the tourist has suddenly become quick, leaping out onto the road ahead of you. It's another three miles of seething behind him, passing passing places, until he pulls into a gateway, and you sprint by, throwing your hand in the air to demonstrate your frustration. But he doesn't even see your gesture, because, in your rearview mirror, you can see he's done a three-point turn and now he's going back the way he came!

SPIDERMAN YOU'RE SO RIGHT I THINK NUMBER 3 WAS WRITTEN JUST FOR HIM. THINKS THE ETC ETC

Aye, Nightstar, but maybe there's a couple of others it was written for too eh?? A builder and a bathroom fitter spring to mind!! Anyone else for naming and shaming?"

Them Blue van drivers and that biker from Seaview!!!

What's worse is the fast tourists that don't know the roads, very dangerous indeed...

Reading this thread has certainly brightened my lunch hour today. It brings to mind three points.
o I feel that we should be more tolerant to the faux pas of tourist drivers. They are probably totally unused to driving on rural single-track roads and are unlikely to know of the courtesies which have grown up on this island over the years, eg how are they to know that we usually recognise that a car coming off Seil should be given right of way over the bridge?
o We have a plethora of very eccentric drivers living on this island, eg the old boy (yes he wears a cap when driving) who always shifts into neutral when he reaches the top of Kilninver Hill on a return journey from Oban, and then attempts to freewheel all the way down to Loch Seil! Who has retracted (permanently) his wing mirror! Who parks haphazardly outside the TnT at exactly 5.20 pm 364 days of the year! There are many other very eccentric drivers on Seil (and more on Luing) but, luckily, we have grown accustomed to their foibles and can act accordingly when we see them approaching.
o Local cyclists are a worse hazard. Who can keep their eyes on the road when following them and observing their tight, rounded buttocks bouncing on their saddles?
So, my vote is in favour of the tourists (gorblesem).
Hong Shanks (Chinese by choice since 1997)

longshanks wrote:Reading this thread has certainly brightened my lunch hour today. It brings to mind three points.
o how are they to know that we usually recognise that a car coming off Seil should be given right of way over the bridge?
Hong Shanks (Chinese by choice since 1997)

New one on me

I always thought that the first one to the top was the winner.

Film of local rush hour traffic down side of Loch Seil

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-Cp05u9wDY

There now follows a short public information film for anyone experiencing single track roads for the first time:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvo2hwOTaUs

Good videos, PP.

Also see

http://www.undiscoveredscotland.co.uk/u ... index.html

for a written guide. "The trick on single track roads is to drive with a combination of consideration and assertiveness."

Perhaps they'd take more notice of the police-type notices. Then, perhaps not

my category;

too old to care ;
too laid back to bother;
and I`ve often wodered what 1.finger means
as a local greeting that is
never had an accident but seen thousands behind me.


TEDDY

Khartoumteddy, Jones & 7th Seil - the joint 2008 champions of the death kiss to threads on Seil Chat. For Pete's sake, say something a bit more interesting, you three, something people will want to reply to and keep threads going!! This particular one is about drivers on Seil roads. So far you 3 metaphorically are the locals with the bunnets on doing 20 mph with noone coming after but a queue behind........................................

.....(meant friendlily and in jest of course).

Anyway, how about making the bridge safer for first-time tourists by putting traffic lights at each end? Or what about the annual party suggested to be given by the grateful tourist shop owner, target of the many daily buses, turning into the modified modernised highland games party day, the subject of another thread? Maybe he could fund it out of thankfulness for our patience in daily encounters with his buses and to make up for the road damage and crumbling edges perpetrated by said buses??

Hear, Spiderman, lay off Khartoum, Jones and 7th. Khartoum's grammar has improved massively in recent times. I can actually understand him now. And at least he and the others add to the threads. It's not them that kills them off: it's those who don't reply at all that kills them! And whether they add a serious point or not, make it well or badly, at least they join in and have their say.

Please don't put traffic lights on the bridge. I am sick, sick, SICK of signs and lights ruining our countryside. There are so many that in many respects they are a distraction, and a danger. If a driver can't anticipate and deal with negotiating the Atlantic Bridge safely, they shouldn't be on the road. Why do we need a sign to tell us what to do? Haven't we got brains? In the interests of 'safety' will they soon have signs saying:

"Do not drive head on into an oncoming car".
"Do not forget to turn where the road bends to the left/right"
"Do not face backwards when driving forwards"
"Use headlights in the dark" (on an illuminated sign)
"Do not have s ex while driving"
"Remember to stop where the road ends"
"Don't look now but there are sheep eating grass in the field on your left side"

How many bumps occur on the bridge compared to in Tesco's car park?
It's ridiculous the number of signs we have. How many people are killed each year crashing into signs?

There was even a sign featured on Top Gear. The photo showed a sign that had just the word, "Sign not in use" on it. You know, someone gets paid to make that! What sort of crazy world do we live in?

Yes, you are right PP! Why don't we det rid of all the road signs and solely rely on instincts. Think about the money we could save...

For more funny road signs, see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_plMDxeXPYA and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvGhcUX_RuA

But you're dead right, PP - it's the folk that view the blog but don't contribute that stop it being more representative and saner. At time of writing, for example, this thread had 679 views and just 33 contributions. C'mon you voyeurs, let's be 'avin' ya!!

I'm off on hols now to a foreign internet-free zone so don't think my absence here has any bearing on this thread. Looking forward to driving slowly like a tourist in unfamiliar territory and getting the locals mad!!

Ill drive at my own speed whatever that may be.roads are a rarity in khartoum


If My spelling and grandma aint up to scratch tough

As for Bonnets Tam o shanters and hats generally;
Bald is beautifull and
I`m sticking with it.



Teddy

ps

Enjoy you ho;iday spidey

47 ft boat wasnt it
Teddy

I just wish people would drive slower when they're passing a walker. It's no fun walking on them there single track roads with all these Lewis Hamiltons around - especially when the Luing ferry is due to leave.

You Should Not Drive Slowly When Passing the Walkers

Drive when youve drunk it

All the irresponsible people do :evil:Some very slowly



Some in 4x4s into pumps Who was SHE

Teddy

Teddy, have you been drinking yet again ?