Dog owners - pick your dogs mess up

[sleepy]

Had to resolve to a slang dictionary to get another meaning of 'spam!' - Offensive email didn't seem to fit so here is an alternative interpretation

http://www.peevish.co.uk/slang/g.htm

PP, is that what you really meant to refer to the lovely Maggie as - she seems such a nice boy

On a less serious point, when you trawl through the phrases it's amazing how many of these we actually use every day

[khartoumteddy]

And Whoever Pogues your Hoin Sandy
dont interpret for Maggie
He or She may be a Lady

TEDDY

[Sandy MacSeil]

Maggie can pogue mahone ony time at a', Teddy, as long as she looks like yon Ava Tar! Or are aw youse folk suggestin' she's really a bloke? That wid be a richt drag, if ye ken whit a mean.

Hey Maggie, fess up - are youse a burd or a geezer? We need tae know!!

It must be against the rules o' yon Nick and Criminal Victor to no be yir richt gender on this wee forum, no?

[Maggie]

This is sexual harassment...help vicar!

[khartoumteddy]

sexual harassment no
suspect you are more like the new avtar
however we were talking about sandys strange requests

teddy

[khartoumteddy]

And by the way dont refer me to Nick Mc B in his new guise as The Scottish Inquisition

(anything almost,but that)

TEDDY

[Sandy MacSeil]

Jings crivvens and help ma boab, Maggie looks like a muppet noo, an angry wan at that. I guess this means she's a bloke. Shudderz!

Teddy, ah think Nick MacB wid say that his guise is mair liker the Scottish Enlightenment!

[khartoumteddy]

Got to thinking about the Sandy/Maggie situation

Envisage if you will dear reader

"Aftre 30 years of dating somewhere near Oban on a beautiful evening
Maggie may think it time to askl the question

"Sandy she breathes is it no aboot time we were wed"

After a heavy silence he sighs "ayemaggie perhaps it is"

A hopefull gleam spreads over Maggies face

Aye Maggie it is but wha wud hae us"

[Maggie]

Remember the days when this forum used to be fun....when a serious topic could be discussed, and humouir injected without detracting?

To all Newbugs...this thread is how it used to be.

mags
x

[Maggie]

It is extremely rare for anyone to become infected by stroking a dog - direct contact with faeces or contaminated soil is overwhelmingly the most common method of transmission, so the comments about the dangers of stroking pets is a red herring.

In reality, the entire toxocariasis strand is something of a red herring. Dog faces deposits on public thoroughfares are:
illegal
antisocial
infinitely more unpleasant than agricultural faeces (except perhaps pigs, but pig droppings are somewhat rare on roadside verges)
much more common (around Balvicar in particular) than any other variety of faeces and
entirely preventable.

Failure to clear up after your dog shows not only a well-developed degree of laziness and a depressingly common level of irresponsibility, but an attitude of complete contempt for other users of the thoroughfare in question.

But there were some anal retentives even back then

[Sandy MacSeil]

Och aye the noo, bonny Maggie, them wur braw days. Maybe we should bring 'em back. Yer still a wee stoater richt enuf!

[Maggie]

Oh Sandy, I still can't understand half what you say.
Is a "wee stoater" a beaver ?

mags
x

[Foxglove]

Beaver? ...

[Gavin Rae]

:


Foxglove don't go there !!!!!!!!!

[Sandy MacSeil]

Aye, Maggie, a beaver might be a wee stoater but no vice versa and no necessarily. Especially, Maggie, as ah think you're maybe a bloke in drag. In these new enlightened times it would be aw richt fur ye tae fess up noo, come oot and bare yer soul! But leave yer beaver hidden! (Ah think the recent intervention of yon Tricky naturalist bloke hus got us all doin' animal talk.) Better get back tae dugs then. Let 'em do their stuff naturally except whaur people are likely to get messed. And dinna let them belt across the greens and fairways of oor golf course. Wuv a grand golfin' tradition in Scotland - invented ra game wursels - and so every Scot -and resident here - should underston the importance of huvin' as nice a playin' surface as we caun. Richt? An' it's no easy gettin' the surface guid, startin' wi' a bog. So dugs on leads and pick up efter seems hunkydory there.

Aw, bring back Khartoum Terry, Sleepy, Pentlandpotato, Canyous, Spideryguy, even yon evil traitorous Longshots and aw the others frae thon guid auld days... An' ma very favourite ra nonny moose. Ah fancied hur!

[khartoumteddy]

[quote="Maggie"]This is sexual harassment...help vicar![/quote]

I think he may help with the sexual harrasment
although I feel clergy only "help" if you are indeed
a male

[Maggie]

, Maggie, as ah think you're maybe a bloke in drag.

You've been reading too many scurrilous PMs from Mr B
oh but, seeing as you asked, and seeing as I've had one too many Babychams this evening, I will confess that I feel like a man right now.

mags
x

[Maggie]

Aw, bring back Khartoum Terry, Sleepy, Pentlandpotato, Canyous, Spideryguy, even yon evil traitorous Longshots and aw the others frae thon guid auld days... An' ma very favourite ra nonny moose. Ah fancied hur!

Ah, the old gang
All of them except nonny achieved bans at one time or another.
SpiderMan....what a star.
You missed Mona.......he's gone all mature and upright by the looks of things.
Happy days ay.

mags
x
ps Can't believe it.....there's still a smiley limit of 5 !!!

[Sandy MacSeil]

"I feel like a man right now". Is that no a wee bit ambiguous?!