first poem

[bareface]

The tunnel slid to a silent stop.
It was there: the Ending.

As I stepped into the light that came to greet me,
An angel’s breath whispered a new name that clung to me.
Woman.

Childhood had slipped away unnoticed.
And yet, the girl remained.
Restless.

The womb had eaten sin, purified it into a thousand blessings.
And pushed out love.
Forgiveness.

And now this woman lives.
This is her Beginning.


this is the first poem i've written in my new home, and from a new perspective. Let me know your thoughts?

[shygirl78]

Hello Bareface, and welcome to the Arts forum, it's always nice to see a new member here.

That is a very lovely poem. It speaks to me of a girls transition into womanhood, through possibly having children. But, it also says, that, often, you can go through the motions of 'becoming' a woman (and often in a way that's as you said go unnoticed), but still feel, in parts of yourself like a young girl, with questions unanswered, or something along those lines!

Anyway, looking forward to seeing more like that!

[Peter Connelly]

Hi Bareface. Regeneration, rebirth, reconsolidation, reinvigoration, rendezvous, renaissance, renegotiation: there are many ‘re-’ themes running through this poem, but all seem positive. A thought-provoking piece. Excellent. Hope you’ll be posting more.

[canUsmellthat]

What a brilliant poem, very well thought out and delivered...The new perspective seems to have paid off!!!

What about a title???

[Peter Connelly]

'First Poem' seems a like a good title...

[shygirl78]

I'd kind of assumed 'First Poem' was the title?

[khartoumteddy]

if this be the first
for more we thirst

teddy