Now look what's happened!

[Foxglove]

Unbridled Passion! what a lovely expression, I'm partial to an occasional 'bodice ripper' novel at times. However, Jimcee..your idea of a 'discreet' dating agency via this site would be a non starter...most people are so entrenched with the goings on of their neighbours that I imagine a lot of people even know what colour keks we are wearing on any given day..so..'discreet'? no chance.

[jimcee]

No - the dating agency idea was just a whimsy dreamt up after a liquid lunch - any shenanigans hereabouts seem to get off the ground without any help from cyberspace.
However this particular thread has spawned a host of new words foreign to my vocabulary - obviously my Oxford dictionary is out of date. Ones which I have never encountered before include "pm", mods, viral, fess, and just in the last post "keks".
Sometimes one can hazard a guess at a meaning by the context of the word, and in the case of keks this suggests garments worn - not normally visible to the naked eye, but in close proximity to the naked body.
I hope to get this out before pm, and if any mods get viral over the content, that they will fess the message.

[sleepy]

Unbridled Passion! what a lovely expression, I'm partial to an occasional 'bodice ripper'

'Lettin' it all hang out'- eh Foxy?

And so much for the 'mild mannered' reporter Jimcee! Liquid lunches - before midday even!

I wonder will you continue to use your new vocabulary in the Seileachan

[Foxglove]

Sorry sleepy..it hangs 'down' rather that 'out' these days . However, why on earth would you draw attention to Jimcee writing in the Seilachan? Surely he is entitled to 'a life' and can join in the banter and be a little frisky and enjoy a dram whenever he wants..be it before midday? So what?

[jimcee]

There's lots of things one can be accused of, and being "mild mannered" is certainly one that almost verges on a compliment - if it means that one can string a sentence together without resorting to blasphemy or swearing.
So, Sleepy, I will regard that as a compliment.
As to refreshment throughout the day - the clock has little bearing on either the needs or the inclination of body or mind in these matters, and I understand that a potion called "Bucks Fizz" can be downed (in certain circumstances) at any time of day after sunrise.
Thirdly - vocabulary in the Seileachan - my own contribution is but a smattering of introduction in a lighter vein to balance the more weighty content supplied by others, and over which I have no control either of language or style.
As I am still unclear of the exact meaning of some of the words used by others in these postings it would be inadvisable to unleash them on a wider audience, in case they might cause offence or incedulity.
In the process of this thread, between two members of the opposite sex (presumably) it has been my intention to act as an outsider with both their interests to be encouraged, within the bounds of decency.

[sleepy]

Oh dear, I seem to have upset you Foxy in my references to Jim. I was only attempting to continue the vague topic in the same vein as the rest of the nonsense.

If you Jim, are upset by my witterings I sincerely apologise! There was absolutely no malice intended. That you don't know of some of the slang in the contributions is neither here nor there.

The reference to the 'mild mannered reporter' was of course - or maybe not - to some - to Superman and the Daily Globe. Jim also made reference to a liquid lunch and getting something away (?) before midday.

In my convuluted mind that came out as before 'pm' i.e. lunch. I ain't going on, it was all meant to be a bit of fun.

Perhaps it's unfortunate that everybody, like a few others on this forum - and unlike you, Foxy, and myself - who hide behind our user names, know who Jim really is.

Given the 'gravity' of the situation maybe best if I drew a line under my contributions.... 'Now look what's happened!

[Foxglove]

Sleepy,Jimcee..you have both contributed to a 'funny ' thread...I've had a few laughs along the way.If this is the end then so be it...still think that sleepy could make some woman smile along the way[!Not me of course Jim..you struck me as a boring old fart until your last posts..you've still got it ..made me laugh a few times.

[jimcee]

Everybody seems to be getting a bit touchy hereabouts - and I don't mean touch touchy, although that seemed to be on the cards between these other two.
I don't know why Sleepy had to go to such lengths to grovel over some of his remarks - they were all made in a light hearted way and were taken as such - if my replies failed to reply in a similar vein, and were taken seriously, then I am the one to apologise.
As for Foxy, it was very kind of you to leap to my defence and I am glad that I might have graduated beyond the "old fart brigade".
Having said all that, I have twice tried to alter the direction of the thread in the feeling that it might run out of steam, but you other two were quite happy to continue in your own direction and it certainly pulled in a lot of hits.
So if you two feel you have run out of steam and are flogging a dead horse, so be it.
Talking of dead horses - I know a very illuminating story about a dead camel, but it might not be entirely appropriate on this forum.

[Foxglove]

See? Jim is certainly not boring!..The dead camel story has already got me intrigued..

[jimcee]

It's about a nun and a priest who go on a pilgrimage in the Sahara on a sick camel.
I wonder whether our moderator would pass this instructive insight into human nature.
If there is no censorship and anyone is interested in the outcome, I am happy to proceed with the tale.

[Foxglove]

Looks like there is only me interested in the 'camel' story ...maybe I need to get out more

[jimcee]

Not strictly true.
There are a lot of silent readers of these posts who never make their presence felt apart from the number of hits it receives, and in this particular thread the number is quite surprisingly high.
Anyway, as I have at least one curious listener I will proceed with the saga.
If our moderator withdraws it, I do apologise, but to a certain extent it is breaking new ground.

This story involves a nun - Sister Maria, and a Monk - Brother Patrick - although brother and sister, not related in any way - this is just the way they are known to all and sundry. How it came about that they found themselves in N.Africa together and intent on a pilgrimage into the unknown, I have been unable to ascertain, but there they were in a cattle market on the lookout for a camel for transport on this quest, Neither were in any way experts on the judgement of livestock, so it is not surprising that they were fobbed off with a camel which was way past it's "sell by" date.
However they set off on their pilgrimage in good spirits with enough provisions to last them for several days. Unfortunately the camel did not perform to their expectations and progress was painfully slow. eventually on the fifth day when they were truly in the wilderness the camel expired.
This situation was serious - not to say life threatening - and they were worried about the chances of survival. During the course of these reflections Brother Patrick turned to Sister Maria and said " You know I have led a very sheltered life in the monastery and I have never seen a member of the opposite sex completely naked, and it would help if I have to meet my Maker, if yoyu would let me have a glimpse of this missing experience".
Sister Maria - being a kind hearted soul - promptly stripped off, and displayed all her feminine charms to a very appreciative Brother Patrick.
After she had restored her habit and was once more decorously attired, she said, " I also have led a very sheltered life and have been deprived of the same things you have alluded to, and would hope that you could reciprocate the experience, as we may not be much longer with this world". Naturally Brother Patrick acceeded to this genuine request and srtripped off also. Sister Maria was duly inpressed with his manly physique, but was constrained to say " That is all very fine, but what is that dangly thing you have there between your legs ?"
Brother P. replied " That, my dear, is a gift from God. If I were to stick that into you, it would produce New Life".
Siater M. replied, " Well don't you worry about me, just you stick it into the camel"

[Foxglove]

Jimcee..had a good laugh at your camel story...goodness me! you are rapidly becoming the most entertaining rmember on this site

[jimcee]

Thanks for the thumbs up.
As it seems to have got past the censor, here is another in the same vein -
This was originally reported to me as a true story, but I cannot vouch for that.

The scene is the isle of Skye and invilves a family of father Hector and mother Mary, and surprisingly ten offspring of various ages. They live in one of the remoter villages on Skye, and having the number of bodies involved, a car is iout of the question for transport and they have to rely on the local bus for any family outings.
This particular incident took place when they decided to go to Portree for a bit of shopping and to get shoes for some of the children. All went well with the trip (none of the children got seperated from the rest or strayed off on their own) and they turned up at the bus station for the return journey.
Unfortunately they were not alone and there was a fair smattering of customers in the queue already, so it finished up with mother at the front of the brood and father at the back on his own - he was shortly joined, just before the bus arrived by a a near neighbour - a nonagenarian with a couple of sticks and a hearing problem.
All went well with the loading but when it came to Hector and the old fellow -Michael, the driver signified that the bus was full and as no standing passengers were allowed, the bus left without them.
Faced with an hour's delay uintil the next bus was due, Hector suggested to Michael that they repair to a local cafe for a cup of tea and a sit down to kill the time.
This they did, and held a desultory conversation, mainly punctuated by Michael being very worried about returning later than intended and that his wife would be cross with him and maybe even worried about his whereabouts.
They set off back to return to the bus station - I should probably have mentioned that Michael was a bit unsteady on his pins - anyway, on the return journey he lost his footing, his sticks skidded and he finished up on the pavement.
Hector helped him back to his feet, dusted him down and in the interests of giving some advice, remarked "You know if you had a couple of these rubber thingys on the end of your sticks, they wouldn't have skited away from you".
Michael replied " And if you had a rubber thingy on your stick, we would have got on to that bus".

[Foxglove]

Another 'good un' Jim...keep them coming..

[jimcee]

Foxglove - while your accolades are most welcome - eventually I have run out of steam.
I have never been more aware of the expression "The Silent Majority", than in the case of this thread.
The mind boggles - who are all these people who have conscienciously followed every twist and turn of the narrative, but have never felt the desire or the need to contribute their tuppenceworth ?
It's a pity that there has not been any outside input to keep the momentum going, but it does prove that there is a big
readership for something in a light hearted vein and not just contentious slanging matches.
So to all the 1300+ silent hits to the series - thanks for your following.

[Foxglove]

Amen..