A man in New Zealand bought several sheep,
hoping to breed them for wool or for meat.
After several weeks, and quite indignant
he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant,
He phones a vet for help with this situation.
The vet tells him to try artificial insemination.
The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means
but, not wanting to display his ignorance so green
, only asks the vet how he will know
when the sheep are pregnant.and so:
The vet tells him that they will stop standing around
and instead will lie down and wallow in grass they have found
when they are pregnant he'll easily tell
for nature should take a hand as well
The man hangs up and gives it some thought.
although his deliberations mean naught
artificial insemination he comes to conclude
means he has to impregnate the sheep himself.(how rude)
So, he loads the sheep with the help of his dog Rover
into his vehicle an old Land Rover,
drives them out into the woods, has s€x with them all,
so far so good brings them back, and goes to bed.
with thoughts of a good job done in his head.
Next morning, he wakes fresh from his sleep
and looks out of his window at the sheep.
Seeing that they are all still standing around,
not one lying on the ground
he deduces that the first try didn't take,
loads them in the Land Rover again no mistake
He drives them out to the woods,
bangs each sheep twice for its own good
brings them back,in the land rover transported
and goes to bed exhausted.. job sorted;
He wakes to find the sheep still just standing round.
Try again, he tells himself, (though this isn't good)
proceeds to load them up, and drive them out to the woods.
He spends all day shagging the sheep
upon returning home, falls into a deep sleep
He cannot even raise himself from the bed
to look out of the window the next morn
He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep
are lying in the grass and fast sleep
No, she says, they're all in the Land Rover,
one of them is beeping the horn
with the engine turning over .