Theres not mutch point in kittens,yes they`re furry and appealing
but a Pheasant is, a sturdy bird evokes a manly feeling;
And after several hundred years of being shot till dead
one met with our reporter dear,and this is what he said;
Enoughs enough croaked Reeves--Jed the killing has to stop
two wives 9 kids both mums and dads all last year got the chop;
Amherst Al lost 13 kids, his mrs lost her life
and Ned lost all his family but doesnt miss his wife;
Ive read some of this Darwin stuff,and in it he demures
that when a species sees it fit,devolution occurs;
"so are we all agreed my lads this may be tricky stuff,
we`ll act to change the situation,prove enough`s enough.
It happened by a twist of fate,up the road at the castle gate
The lord of the manor a decision took to organise the Xmas shoot;
The invitation far and wide he sent by post and foot
To rich and famous landed gents,and Proles who had the loot
The gates will open 9 o`clock,the shoot begin at twelve
We`ll park up first then hampers out ,into our hip flasks delve.
The weathers clear the game`s afoot,the sun sets in the west
we`ll do the north and south woods first,that should make the east copse best.
So came the day the cars arrived,Lamorghini Porche and Range Rover
the odd helicopter too to bring our sportsmen up and over.
The beaters went out to the woods,they drove both North and South
and guns both high and low they fired to bring a rain of death;
Now while some birds were cleanly shot,tragically, some were not
some were winged and could not fly,some just crawled away to die,
some whilst winged but not mown down fell into the lake to drown
several hurt (by Spaniel fetched) may just end up with their necks stretched.
all together one hundred and tweny brace died in the first leg of the shoot
recorded by,the book no liar I
the rest went afoot
for liquor and a good game pie
They partied on for an hour or so thinking that sport had been fast
then bearing in mind "the light dont you know"headed for the east copse and their last
Two dozen more brace what a hoot of a day so home they wend their weary way
back as far as the picnic hamper do our weary shooters scamper
The guns were all in safety stowed all baggage was placed on the truck
Two hundred and eighty eight birds,when the unthinkable struck
For Jed Ned and others who learned from the books
Led by Al whod lost 5 brothers, dreadful revenge they took
Knowing that Pheasants are supposed to be thick,each in a meaningful hush
was clutching a self loading machine gun behind a mulberry bush
"right said Al lets prove were not Rabbits .While theyre all eating lads,
Each one has proved hes just as bad;so Let the B**ggers have it.
The first shot was fired by Al from the Bush,caught one of the beaters right in the tush
he unaware of his imminent plight ran as luck had it into better light
The birds opened up with general fire,some going lower some going higher
So even those who had no skill,eventually claimed a kill
The party perished sad to relate,of fourty five survived just 8
the rest were cruelly slain now peace returned to Downlee Copse
and may it ever reighn.
The story sadly end righthere and sad as it may seem
Beware of intelligent Pheasants;or was this all a dream??
For though you may think it pleasant to sit and pluck a pheasant
Think of all the weeping you would do
If instead of plucking Pheasant the Pheasant wasn`t pleasant
and it was sat there plucking you.